Courtroom Truths

What the Water Never Told Me · Chapter 14 of 15

Transferred, Not Finished

By My Life Story Editorial · Published · Updated

The notice came by mail on the thirty-first of December, a short cover letter from Price's office folded around a single printed page, and I read it standing at my own kitchen table in the same coat I hadn't yet taken off from walking back from the corner store with a quart of milk.

Effective this date, the Coastal Inquiry Bureau's investigation into the September 1964 disappearance of three inmates from Cinder Island Prison is closed, the letter said, and all open materials, including the attached corrected statement of Ruth Mercer, are transferred to the National Warrant Office for continued review under its ongoing fugitive pursuit program.

Below that, stapled behind the cover letter, was a copy of a notice I understood the National Warrant Office had already begun circulating on its own authority, the kind of thing that gets posted in post offices and sent to police departments in towns nobody involved had ever lived in. It listed one name in bold at the top. Nora Bellamy. Wanted. Escaped custody, 1964. Approach with caution advised due to time elapsed and unknown current circumstances.

There was no notice for Evelyn or Tess in the envelope. My first thought was that somebody had chosen Nora and given up on the others, and I felt myself getting angry before I had even put the paper down. Then I looked again at what I actually held: one enclosed notice. It wasn't a list of every person the office was seeking, and it didn't tell me why this was the page Price had sent.

I still wanted to see all three names together. Evelyn had been the one who first said we're going, out loud, at that laundry table in 1964. Tess had been the one who pressed a folded note into my palm and made me feel I mattered beyond what use I was. But wanting their names beside Nora's didn't tell me what other notices existed. I could ask about that if I needed to. I couldn't answer it by staring harder at the enclosure.

I checked the date on the notice against the date on the bureau's own closure letter, the way Price had taught me without meaning to, the way I now checked any two papers that were supposed to agree with each other. The bureau's file closed December 31, 1981. The warrant office notice was dated two weeks earlier, December 17, which meant it had already been circulating before the bureau even finished processing my attachment, before my correction had formally traveled anywhere at all.

The dates made me stop. The notice preceded the attachment order Price had shown me on December 18, though it came after my signed submission. I couldn't tell which papers the warrant office had received when it prepared the notice. Pursuit clearly hadn't needed to wait for the formal handoff, but that was all the dates established. They told me nothing about whether anyone there had read my correction.

I understood then, reading that cover letter a fourth time at my kitchen table, what closing a file actually meant, and it was narrower than I had let myself hope even after Price's plain explanation in December. It did not mean the bureau had decided what happened to Nora, Evelyn, and Tess. It did not mean anyone had decided they were dead, or alive at some distant market under another name. It meant one office had finished its part and handed responsibility for the unanswered question to another.

My corrected statement was going with the file, the letter said, direct observation separated from what I'd been told and from what I could not establish. That was the change I had asked for. The wanted notice served a different purpose: it asked people to help locate Nora, not to decide whether she had survived. I couldn't control how the next office would read my account. I had made its limits plain enough that they would not have to guess.

I folded both pages back along their creases, the cover letter and the wanted notice, and set them in the drawer of my nightstand next to the newspaper clipping I'd decided in Price's office not to hand over. Not because they belonged in a drawer rather than anywhere official. I'd already sent the official copy where it needed to go. I kept these simply because I wanted, for my own accounting, to remember exactly what the page had said the day the handoff became real, before anyone else's hands reshaped it into something easier to post on a wall.

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